A World Within Her Dreams

There are things not meant for mortal eyes. Online playground of a twisted soul. The fantasies of a little girl, all in one place. You have been warned.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.

This blog and everything in it is my property otherwise noted. Read this disclaimer before anything else. I don't force you to read or agree with what I put or write here, so if you see something you don't like, you are more than welcome to close this window. Of course if you do see something you like, you're not allowed to copy, reproduce or take it without my consent—a simple tagboard message about it will do. Break these simple rules and you'll prove yourself to being the biggest ass in the world.

And please bear with the grammatical and typographical errors here. If there's one thing I hate aside from math and glue is copyreading, proofreading, or anything that has to do with checking whatever I've written, really.

The Unwakeable Dreamer

ユキ. Cattleya. Chantal. 17. Taurean. Vain. Narcissistic. Fangirl. Dreamer. Devious. Childish. Clumsy. Has an incredibly short attention span. Stubborn. Misunderstood. Undisputed HYDEist. Yaoi. Incest. Artist. Writer. Web/graphics designer. Otaku. RPer. Certified fangirl. Worth $2,135,822. II - ICTM. Hates Loathes anything Korean and hiphop.

Current Desktop

Yume no Naka's Perfect Moment

32nd layout of Yume no Naka. Features HYDE and his lyrics. Shades of blue, pink, white and lavender. Used Adobe Photoshop CS2 as the image editor. Coding was made on Notepad. Div layers. Some elements might not be compatible with IE. Best viewed in Mozilla Firefox with a 1024x768 screen resolution. Go to past layouts?

Resources for this layout were from the following: Cbox, Colorfilter, DaFont, iMood, Miss M, Photobucket, Selphie's World, Tabulas, and Tenshi no Koe.

And no, as much as I want to be, I am not associated with the sexy man in this layout. I am merely a fan and this is my expression of adoration to him.

Tagboard

Link exchanges

Blog Crews

for those who were wondering where my previous entry went, no, it wasn't banned by Roy or anything, I just hid it as a private entry. =D (torso boy noticed it 2 minutes after I did it. LOL)

I wanted to write about something. I just forgot about it again.  XD

Wanted bf

So Far.. But still Incomplete

I got a total grade of 1.25 in our last return demostration about bed making, bed bathing, shampooing, oral care, tepid sponge bath and perineal care. Better than my previous return demo that I only got 2.0 just because of my checklists were incomplete. This coming tuesday, we will have again our third return demonstration, I just wish that my CI is Ms. Lk, she's my CI for two return demonstrations already and I <3 her~ LOL. And I'll really really get nervous if she's not the CI on tuesday. Anyway, our return demo are all about INJECTIONS and IV. OMG~! This is the highlight of my second year college. We will also have our hospital exposure next month and probably and hopefully, I'll be graduating a two-year course by that time.

We will also have our case study presentation next saturday and oral defense by (??). I really dunno when but I know we will have it by section, actually. On Sept. 1-4 will be our midterm exams and my friends and I were planning to watch Boys like Girls at Trinoma on Sept. 5, 7:00 pm.

Conflicts in our section are really disturbing but I love the way it is. I'm being too selfish but I know I'm right and my friends are happy anyway (and others are happy). It really doesn't matter if you have a lot of friends, what matter is if they are also true to you. I know, unity is important but if we know that we don't like each other, maybe we should just act like we like each other just for the sake of having unity in our section and after that, go on with your life with your group of friends and I'll do mine too.

Lovelife? They screwed it, I screwed it. But he didn't allow it to happen. To cut the fucking long story short, we're still good friends as if nothing happened, that's the way he wanted to be but for me, I feel it isn't because of what I feel. I feel he's avoiding me but earlier, he admits that it's nothing for him or it's okay for him just for the sake of our so-called friendship or closeness but the thing is, he doesn't act that way. He only approaches me when he got no choice or if we're close to each other. Maybe I also act the way he acts. I dunno. SCREWED.

Grades. I'm doing fine during the prelim but I dunno this midterm. FUCK. I'm hopeless.

Here are the results of some of my subjects:

Anatomy & Physiology lec. & lab. --- 2.75

English --- 2.0

NCM 100 lec --- 2.25

NCM 100 lab --- 2.75

overall NCM 100 --- 2.5

Community Health Nursing Lec --- 1.5

Community Health Nursing Lab --- n/a

overall CHN grade --- 1.75

*Pictures during our 2nd Community Immersion, visit http://mayochan.multiply.com

"I don't want to feel ANYTHING for ANYONE right now."

Damned Hacker

Eio! Minna! My life is quite busy for a while, both in studies and home. Especially this damned hacker! Good thing he didn't ruined my tabulas/Melodies of the heart cuz I'm gonna kill him/her for sure! He did ruin my blogger account, like multiple posting and editing my links. Damned that hacker!

This all started when someone texted me and said "Ikaw ba si shaoran ng (my blogger site). Kasi hacked ko ang blog mo ngayon.". Weird? isn't it! I didn't really mind that text and trying to ignore it but still I had this courage that I need to know him somewhat. So I reply by asking his/her name but he didn't answer. I told myself that this is some doing of a crazy guy. Then just to make sure I ask my friend (who is online at the moment) to check it for me. She told me that my blogger is ruined and I need to fix it. I didn't have money that time so I online next day. At the time I online, I saw my blogger account with multiple posting in journals. Many pics were posted saying You have been hacked and stuffs. He/she also hacked my multiply account and email by posting multiple picture and TAKE NOTE: OF KAIDO AND FUJI (POT?) saying You have been hacked. Can you image that?

I'm not really angry or pissed on what they did to my blogs at all. It's easy to edit! That's piece of cake! The most scariest I guess is they even texted me and said that they hacked my blog? How in the world do they got my number in the first place! I never posted any personal contacts to me in any of my blogs (aside from email). Anywayz.. let me say this one thing straight if that hacker is reading this. YOU CAN HACKED MY BLOGS ANYTIME/ANYWAYS YOU WANT! YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY THING AFTER ALL! i DARE YOU. Waste your time? hehe... LOL I could just laugh out of my seat here.

But due to the security and all, I will remove my personal links here. If you want to visit my other blogs? Just give me your email or any contacts and I will say it to you personally. :D   

Yoko Ritona

Last Friday, Jam was saying something about cosplaying a character from Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann, then quickly retracted it. XD I dunno what the hell Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann is, so I googled it. Then I just realized why he retracted it. He wanted me to cosplay as Yoko Ritona.

Yes, this character:

HOLY. HELL. XD but i wanted to try it out. Maybe next year pag payat na ko ^_^

Speaking of hell, hell sa office ngayon. I don't really want to talk about it though. Let's just say that taking your job seriously breaks friendships.

With my Mashed Potato

I really feel sorry for not updating my blog. I really have no time and few things have changed recently. Uhmm.. After the lost of my cellphone, my pc's avr went down or got broken, I dunno why but it was before our second community immersion two weeks ago. So while I was in Batangas, my mom was trying to fix it by getting it into a repair shop or something like that. I spent one night in our community immersion w/ my new group since my previous partner already dropped. During our community immersion, I found out a lot of back fighters, not only to me but to our group & some of them are within are group. Hell yeah~ I'm right! I'm not blind nor numb though I seem to be to everyone. But I already sense it since the first month of our sem. Anyway, at least I know who are those people and they are aware that I already know their shits.

So after the immersion, I waited for my dad to fetch me up at school, that day, I was calling my dad through a payphone because I was feeling that he won't go to school unless I call him over the phone. But sad to say, our landline went down so I got frustrated and stupid because I still waited for him until 7 p.m. I went with Mikko at KFC and went home in a cab/taxi. I was really tired the time I got home, and then... and then.. they were staring at me and my mom shouted at me because of the fucking AVR. (I was thinking, you can nag at me all you want after this day, but can you please let me rest?) The thing is, they even didn't fetch me up at school and they still have the guts to be angry?! I cried that night but my dad was so sweet, he apologize to me before I went to sleep. But I was still annoyed because I still need to do a lot of things for the next day. xD

After those days, I attended the Christening of my pamangkin, Nadine, my brother's daughter. I ate a lot and my another pamangkin was also there, Anton. xDD I got a lot of pictures which I really really want to put here.

Next is the sports fest last thursday, I saw my bezzie Chantal with my close friends in CEU. I also saw my former classmates way back in highschool. Err.. I can't explain how happy I was during that time, as if, I really don't want to go home. xD

I'm not home right now and our landline at home isn't working so I really can't upload all of my/our pictures. I got no choice but to finish all of my assignments. Darn it. x]

good bye papa..

it's been a while since i last posted and ito pa ang maipo-post ko. masakit isipin na parang kelan lang eh nag-post ako (LJ account) na na-hospital sya. then last tuesday (08-12-08) lang, he finally left us.

it was all of a sudden. shocking kasi nung sunday (08-10-08) lang nginingiti-ngitian nya ako nung dumalaw ako. tinanong nya kung san si benedict, sabi ko nasa bahay. then he told me, "wag mo syang pababayaan ha." then i told him, "sige, pagaling ka na." then he slept again. i was to go back the next day (08-11-08) kaso dahil sa abnormal na panahon, sumakit ulo ako. so sabi ni mama, kinabukasan na lang daw. eh kaso hindi na nga ako nakabalik kasi iniwan na nya kami at 9:30am.

it was hard. sobrang hirap tanggapin na ganun ang nangyari. hanggang ngayun may part pa rin ng utak ko na ayaw i-accept 'yung fact na wala na si papa; na pinaglamayan na namin sya at bukas ay libing na nya. parang feeling ko lahat ng nangyayari eh parang isang eksena sa pelikula o teleserye na napapanood ko lang o isang masamang panaginip at gusto ko na magising, parang napaka-unbelievable ng lahat.

nung una, sobrang sakit para sa akin. nung first 2 days, talagang naiiyak ako everytime tinitignan ko sya sa coffin nya. then si mama, 3 days umiiyak every now and then. tsaka makikita mo na sobrang lungkot nya.

sa ngayun, medyo natatanggap na namin na ganun talaga. hanggang dun na lang. tsaka walang huling habilin si papa eh. wala naman syang sinabi kay mama. so ibig sabihin, talaga lang tapos na ung mission nya sa mundo kaya kinuha na sya. naisip namin na mas okay na 'yun kesa naman sa pahirapan pa sya ng sakit nya. buti nga ilang buwan lang sya naghirap. d tulad nung iba na taon ang binibilang.

salamat nga pala dun sa mga nakiramay. dun sa mga pumunta, salamat ng marami. dun sa mga tumawag, nag-text, nag-message, salamat din. natuwa naman ako kasi ang dami ko palang tunay na kaibigan. na-touch naman ako kasi akala ko iilan lang kayo. salamat din sa mga prayers. maraming salamat talaga.

don't worry guys, we'll be fine. andyan lang naman si papa. hindi naman nya kami pababayaan. alam nyo naman, i'm strong. hehe. masaya na rin ako kasi alam kong masaya na si papa kasama ng lolo at lola ko.

GENTLE YAOI?

Konnichiwa!! Minna! I've been busy watching anime recently. My friends really recommend me a lot of good anime to watch out for. Well there is too many anime in the world, I just hope I will be able to watch the good one in the future? :D

Let's go to the topic, my friend Mana recommend me to watch this Yaoi anime. I don't have anything against yaoi alright, but maybe the right term "trauma". I had this scary aura in watching yaoi genre, cuz my first yaoi is too much for me. (Mana also the one who introduce me to that yaoi) She told me that there's nothing to worry about since it's completely harmless. Although her face really sounds so convincing, my instincts are already warning "be careful".

The anime she recommended is Junjou Romantica. She given me only 9 episodes but the real anime is already in 24 or 26? (correct me if I'm wrong). She told me it's harmless and good anime to watch. I should have guess that Yaoi is not really normal. Don't get me wrong, the story is really good and the characters are really nice. For me, it's harmless in a way that no vital organs are exposed? SO unlike to the previous yaoi she recommended me. But it's still the same! They did it!!!! I could just laugh out of my seat! HAHAHAHA--> there was no gentle yaoi in the world of anime!!! hahahaha... 
 
Honestly I really don't mind watching Yaoi anime, it's really fun in the first place. It's just that, It gives me the creeps when they do that "THING". My instant reaction will be "OH! my goodness" or "OMG!! they did it!?" -->hehehe...

And by the way the Yaoi anime that I'm talking about is Junjou Romantica. The 1st yaoi that I've ever seen is the Boku no pico.